Parenting Tips
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Monitoring TV and
Video
games
Every parent
eventually asks themselves how much television and video games are too much. To
help shed some light on this topic
Question: We have often talked about how to be a responsible
parent and I know that many parents struggle with the issues of TV and video
games – how much are kids really watching/playing and is it a problem?
Actually, according
to the National Institute on Media and the Family, children are spending more
time in front of computer, television, and game screens than ANY other activity
in their lives except sleeping.
Question: How can parents control and influence the TV shows that
their children are watching?
(1)SET SOME GUIDELINES ABOUT WHEN AND
WHAT CHILDREN WATCH: Communicate with your kids about what they want to watch
and why to get their perspective, keeping in mind the final call belongs to you
the adult. Remember, the clearer the rules (i.e., no TV before school, or until
homework is completed, etc.), the better. There are several ways to assure these
rules are followed, such as learning how to use the parental controls on your
TV, on gaming systems and on the Internet.
A good site for information on this is:
For TV
controls:
www.TVBlanket.com
(2) KEEP TV OUT OF
KIDS' BEDROOMS: It is difficult to monitor what your children are watching when
they are watching TV in their own room. Having a TV in a child's room
discourages participation in family activities and encourages them to watch TV
when they could be studying, reading, or sleeping. Ideally, watching at least
some of what your children are watching with them is best so you can ensure the
show is appropriate and so it becomes something you can share together, joke or
talk about.
(3) PUT THE FAMILY
ON A TV DIET: Schedule some fun alternative activities, such as traditional
board or cards games, even if it’s only one night per week. When you do watch
television, watch it with your children.
Question: So
many video games are full of violence. What do you suggest for parents wanting
to monitor the content of the video games their child is playing?
(1)
RENT a
game to preview before buying it for your child.
(2)
PICK
non-lethal games that require the player to come up with strategies, and make
decisions in a game environment that is more complex than punch, run, and
kill.
(3)
PLAY
AND ENJOY the game with your child; check in as your child moves into deeper
levels in the game. (With some games the level of violence goes up the deeper
into the game the player gets.)
(4) USE
PARENTAL CONTROLS WHEN AND IF NECESSARY
Practically all the
video games have parental controls that are easy to use. Check out GetGame Smart.com
under their family tools section – there’s a list of parental
control instructions for
most popular games there. For internet controls, there are a number of
parental control filters you can buy – so it’s likely best to just google
“Parental Controls for the Internet” and analyze what’s best for your needs
and budget.
Links:
Video Game Parental Control
Instructions: http://www.esrb.org/about/news/downloads/ESRB_PTA_Brochure-web_version.pdf
TV Parental
Control:
http://www.tvblanket.com/tv_parental_control.html
How do you go
about
becoming a foster
parent?
Being a foster parent is like being a good aunt or uncle
to a child that is not able to be with their family due to abuse or
neglect.
The process to be a foster parent includes a 30 hour
(one evening per week for 10 weeks) training called MAPP (Model Approach to
Partnerships in Parenting). The goal of MAPP training is to:
1.
Educate the foster family about the children
that will need to be cared for and the kinds of abuse and neglect they have
suffered.
2.
The expectations the agency will have of the
foster parents caring for these children.
3.
Self screening, for families that are not
truly committed to becoming foster parents or may not qualify. It is a way to
withdraw from the process without feeling like they failed.
For the families that complete MAPP training, the agency
schedules the Licensing Study which is what qualifies a family to be foster
parents; it will include:
1.
Criminal records checks
2.
Abuse Registry checks
3.
An evaluation of the home (to insure it is a
good environment for children)
4.
Personal and professional references.
5.
Any additional information needed to
insure the foster parents are good, loving, stable people that will be able to
care for children while the children are not able to be with their
family.
Identifying Abuse or Neglect:
Q: What constitutes child neglect? What if
you suspect a child neglect case?
• Abuse: The
National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect defines child physical abuse as: "The
physical injury or maltreatment of a child under the age of eighteen by a person
who is responsible for the child's welfare under circumstances which indicate
that the child's health or welfare is harmed or threatened thereby.”
• Neglect: Although neglect is
just another form of abuse, neglect is defined as any act or series of acts or
commission or omission by a parent or other caregiver that results in harm,
potential for harm, or threat of harm to a child.
• Signs of both/either
-
Aggressive, disruptive, and sometimes illegal behavior
- Anger and rage, or
feelings of sadness or other symptoms of depression (or
sexual acting out)
- Poor self-image
- Self-destructive or self-abusive behavior, suicidal
thoughts
- Anxiety or fears, or flashbacks and nightmares
- Changes in a
behavior or school performance
- Drug and alcohol abuse
- School problems
or failure
- Seems guarded and startles easily
- Loiters at school or
friends' houses and/or seems reluctant to go home.
Signs of Abuse:
-
Broken bones, internal injuries, burns, cuts and bruises
- Hard-to-believe
stories about how accidents occurred
Signs of Neglect:
- Constant hunger
or thirst
- Dirty hair or skin, and for babies- frequent diaper rash
-
Signs of lack of sleep
- Lack of interest in surroundings
- Lack of
supervision
- Passive or withdrawn behavior
Q: What do you do if you suspect
child abuse in someone else’s family? (Signs of abuse)
•
Those who work for or with kids (teachers, child care workers, sport coaches,
etc.) have a greater responsibility to report abuse to the hotline has required
by state law.
• Anyone who suspects abuse should contact 1-800-96abuse or
the United Way Hotline (dial 211)
• Your call is anonymous and your report
may save a child’s life
• If your suspicions are invalid- then the case is
closed and no action taken. The notification says in the sate computer system so
that if another action occurs they begin to look at patterns. If the complaint
was malicious they can file a charge. This has happened in custody disputes
where false complaints were done to be vindictive.
How
can you encourage reading in children?
• Make Reading a
Priority. Let your child know how important it is to read regularly.
•
Establish a regular time and place for reading.
• Read to Your Child. Make
time to read to your child on a regular basis. It is a great way to help develop
a love of learning.
• Ask Your Child to Read to You. Have your child read
aloud to you.
• Keep Reading Material Close By. Make sure children's books
and magazines are easily accessible. Keep a basket of books in the family room,
kitchen, or your child's bedroom to encourage him or her to read more often.
• Visit the Library. Make visits to the library a regular activity and let
your children select their own books.
• Be a Reading Role Model. Read a lot.
Let your child see you read and hear you talk about your books.
How
can you be sure your children are using the Internet
safely?
- Do Your
Research. Find safe and relevant sites and
child-friendly search engines for your child to use. Bookmark them for easy
access.
- Make an
Agreement. Create an agreement with your
child that outlines which site he or she is allowed to visit, and which areas
and activities are off-limits. Involve your child in this
activity.
- Learn About and Use Internet Blocking Features
available on AOL and Comcast and other
sites
- Stay
Aware. Keep lines of communication open so
you know what Web sites your child is visiting. Pay attention to his or her
surfing habits. Let your child know that he or she can come to you in case of
trouble.
- Review Facebook, My Space and Twitter
pages (your children’s and their
friends’)
- Report Suspicious
Activity. If you or your child encounters
suspicious or dangerous situations online, report them to your Internet Service
Provider and local police.
HOMEWORK
TIPS:
Jim Clark, President/CEO of daniel: "
Homework is
the same as practicing for a sport or anything else in which your child wants to excel. It helps your child
began to master a skill, teaches time management, encourages responsibility and improves
skills. That said, I know that as a parent of two and
the head of an agency that oversees as many as 1,000 kids each day – that it’s
simply a fact of like that kids dislike homework. However, there are some things
parents can do to make it a less frustrating, more meaningful and perhaps even fun process First, off, never
use homework as a punishment."
Other than that . .
.
1) Be Informed and
Involved. You can’t help unless you know
what’s going on. Find out about the
school's policy on homework at the beginning of the school year. Ask your
child's teachers about the kind of assignments that will be given and what kind
of time frame the children have to complete them. Monitor the homework
assignments with your child.
2) Learn How Your Child
Learns. Every child learns differently. Some learn best visually,
others do better with auditory processes (for instance, reading things aloud),
others learn best with tactile methods
(for instance, writing out spelling words with their fingers in sand or shaving
cream). By understanding your child's learning style, you can develop routines that
best support how he or she learns best.
You can even make it fun—like using pieces of candy for math sorting and counting problems.
3) Set the
Mood. Ensure the room your child studies in is quiet, has plenty of
light, and has school supplies close at hand. Remove distractions by turning off
the television and discouraging social phone calls during homework
time.
4) Establish a
Routine. Setting a regular time and sticking to it helps children
complete their homework assignments.
5) Help with
Organization & Planning . once a week and ideally at the beginning
of each homework period daily, ensure your child has scheduled enough time
to complete assignments. Also, teach
proper note taking to your child.
6) Talk & Show
Interest. Ask your child about school activities and talk about what
was discussed in school that day. Discuss homework with your child. Talking
about an assignment can help your child think it through and break it down into
small, workable parts. Take your child to the library to check out materials for
homework, and make time to read with your child as often as you
can.
7) Provide
Encouragement. Find ways to support your child's efforts in completing
assignments. Whether it’s a special time out
with you after a week of well-done homework or watching a favorite TV show
together in the evening when their work is behind them – your encouragement and
their looking forward to the reward of relaxing with their homework done will
make a difference.
There are some great sites
that can give you even more tips. Check out:
http://www.bjpinchbeck.com/index.html (a site that’s lauded by
the New York Times)
* the duval school board has
some great help on their site as well.
http://www.duvalschools.org/static/parents/firststeps/calendar08.asp
CHECK
BACK SOON FOR MORE PARENTING TIPS!
Aug.29
